is it ok to be confused?????

is it ok to be confused?? i am happy with him.. but sometimes wen we r together he doesnt always act like he is happy with me... wat am i supposed to think about this? My friends keep tellin me not the worry about it n that he looks happy with me... sometimes people can be decietful... n now to another thing i am confused about... i am in love with a loser red head kid who acts one way when he is around me and another when he is around others. i am moving soon so i wanted to give hims something to remember me by. i gave him my purity ring. i hope he does like it. he said he was kinda speechless n said it was a good thing.. but i cant exactly tell if he is really happy or if he jus thinks i am creepy. the truth is, i cant help but be in love with him and wanna tell him every day. i wud honestly spend my entire life with him... but sadly i doubt he feels the same way about me.. so i am confused about him too. i have known him for about a year n a half.and i have gotten so close to him.. i dont exactly know if he even cares about me half as much as i do for him. idk i guess we will see soon. ok to another thing. my former best friend told me she loves me. well her way of showing me has been to get pissed off at me every time i date a guy she likes. firts example... i hated a guy knamed Jonathan that she dated once and "supposedly" still has feelings for him. second ex. she dated this guy named ryan... i dated him for a little while too. third example... i am currently dating her ex Wesley... now she wont even look at me.. wtf is up with these stupid two faced bitches always actin like this?? i guess it makes it a little worse wen she wud say it was okay and then after if happens she wud be all pissed... wtf?? im sorry but i dont need a condasending two faced backstabbin bitch as a friend.. sorry u stupid two faced slut, im not lettin u get a rise out of the stupid shit u put people through...
i guess evcen thoug i complain about stuff.. i have a few good friends always stickin behind me... I LOVE U DANNI!!!! I LOVE U TRISHY!!! I LOVE U RYAN!!! I LOVE U CHELSEA(mr. mom lol) I LOVE U NICK!!!!

HAPPYNESS!!!!

ok so i am like super excited!! well, i kinda feel bad for this but in a way i honestly dont even care. i broke up with my loser of a bf and now i am with the most amazing guy i have ever met in my entire life. alot has gone on between him n i. n i am just so excited because first off, he n i have known each other for about three years. second, he n i have sooooo much in common. we liek all the same things and idk im jsut excited and thought i wud share my happynesss with you all lol ..
bye for now love you all!!
--brea sebastian

wanna play my game?
the rules are simple
simple cuz there are no rules
dont think, just do
my game is simple at first,
but quickly becomes your habit
a craving you have to cure
a hungeryou have to fill
i become your life.
i will control you
i will consume your body
and take you as the victim,
your my puppet
my wish is your command
you will become my life source
i will become a parasite you cant get rid of
the dependance becomes your down fall
i cann and will take your life away
just be careful,
unless you reject me, you become my prey
you will loose yourself slowely
andn at first you wont even notice it
soon you are looking for a better way
a better way to get my game.
you will keep looking till you find the cure.
your synthetic high.
you become unlike yourself
thats how you know im winning my game.
you loose your weight cuz your body refuses food.
you will avoid anyone who doesnt want to play my game too
you will become weak
the game is your life
and your life, its my game.
you fight with me till te end,
then you loose

My game is fun at first,
but its hard to play and it hurts in the end.
think before you do drugs.
Saying no can be the best decision you ever make,
and save your life.
saying yes, however,
could be the last decision you ever make.
think first, then dont do.

-Brea Sebastian

--Wolf Change--

Corsair of the wood
discard your skin
your pallid, worm-like vulnerability
corsair of the wood
exchange your skin
for pelt of dun
and brindle luxury
a penetegram is burning
in your eyes
a soft, pale twists
of wolf bane
squeeze your heart
a grinding pain
is writhing in your thighs
the crunch of bones
proclaims the changes start
pirate if the flesh
throw back your head
and part your jowls
to sing a lunar song
the forrest paths are dark
the night is long

Confusion?!?!?!?!

ok so i dont really know what to do now. I am crazy in love with someone... but there is a slight problem... i am with someone right now... i am so in love with him.. im always thinking about him... there isnt a second or minute or hour or day that i go without thinking about him and how i fucked everything up wen i broke up with him... so how do i tell him i am crazy about him?? he told me he loves me today... said he always would... im moving in 4 days not counting today... he told me he was gonna miss me so much... truth is.. i dont know if i cant handle this without him... i kinda feel ad cuz im in love with someone who isnt my bf but i honestly cant help it... that night was so special to me that i cant forget about it... nothing within my power iwll alow me to and nothing outside my power will either... i guess eventually i will figure it out... i am sorry if this was a total waste of your time but i needed to vent my feelings... i dont seem him more than just at school so i dont have enough time during the day to tell him how i feel.... i love you LRS

valentines day

ok i just really need to rant about this. i love valentines day, yes, when i have soemone to celebrate it with. yes i have a boufriend, but its nothing special because i cant even see him today.. so yea happy vday to all u love sick bastards out there who are so damn lucky to have someone who loves you enough to go out of their way to get you something, even if they dont think they have the money.. yay for all u lucky people who have been together for God knows how long.. but i on the otherhand am not so lucky.. yea i got a few goosd friends who love me n stuff.. but to be honest i dont think i have someone who loves me like i wanna be loved.. i dont feel like i have someone who needs me and would be crushed if i wasnt here. i mean maybe i do.. but if i do, they havent made it apparent or the least bit obvious.. i mean yea my first friend in ky named mikaya told me friday tht she doesnt want me to move but big deal theres only a few people who even show any sympathy or empathy or any emotion at all.. now my girl Daniella i love her to death i know shes always there for me and she always will be even when i dont live in this dreary old town.. n after i graduate she is one of the first people i will visit.. but not many.. anyways got sidetracked.. lol .. anyways.. point is.. YAY for those who have someone one vday but umm.. as for me.. not likin vday right now.. so good luck to those who arent .. hope things work out soon.. but i dont think they will for me.. so .. ill just keep my heart with God since none of the guys on this Earth think they are good enough for me...