poem (un-named)

what if i never loved you?
and i never felt your pain?
what if i never met you?
would i be half as insaine?

what if i never held you?
what if we never kissed?
and i never tasted your sin?
would i be ok without you?

it kills me not having you you here
because i never would have imagined myself without you
especially when i though you were the one.

i if i could pretend,
that you never exsisted?
would the pain cease?
would your ghost stop haunting me?
would i be able to sleep at night?
without dreams of us keeping me awake?

if i was honest with myself
i would tell you
seeing you two hurts me so much
and knowing your happy, hurts worse

holding on seems so pointless now
when you have her and you happy,
but i only hurt.
so i guess things for me are back to normal.

i knew it was just a matter of time
before my dream became merely a fanatsy
and my stupid insecurities
messed it all up.

my problem scares me
and i thought you would leave
if you only knew..
so i ended up driving myself crazy
then did something i now regret

can you tell me how to live without you?
because it i so hard for me.
when i am so used to being right by your side.
i wish i could jsut ask you for another chance.
so i can show you how much i really do love you.
so i can show you how much i miss you.
if you took me back i would never mess this up..
but it is all just my sweet fantasy..
that i keep held
deep inside my thoughts.